In Astoria, New York,
the sky fizzed and snapped electric blue
for a period of ten hours.
People wondered whether the world was ending
but when they checked their phones
they could see that everywhere else
life went on as normal.
In Kansas City, Missouri,
a hole opened in the middle of every intersection
and for days afterward you could find, at each,
a mummified corpse sitting forlornly on the edge,
looking down at the remnants of their shoes.
Eventually kids threw rocks at them
or the cops shot them
and they all crumbled into dust,
even the one at Westridge and 54th
that had been there for almost two weeks.
In Green River, Utah,
the Robbers Roost motel vanished,
leaving what seemed to be a bottomless pit.
People started throwing their trash into it
and kids would smoke weed there.
The next month the public library disappeared too.
These days Green River is more hole than town
and most people have moved away
to Provo, or St. George, or Phoenix.
I've heard that most of Washington, DC
has been enveloped in darkness for the last three months.
Flashlight companies are making a mint
(even though flashlights barely pierce the black).
My cousin, who lives there, said it started slow
so nobody thought much of it
and the out-of-towners who complained got laughed off.
I've heard that most of Alaska got burned to the ground
after meteor showers wouldn't stop coming. But Alaska
is so far away. And Canada hasn't been complaining
that they caught fire from our territory.
It probably sounds worse than it is.
I've heard the Black Plague came back,
but antibiotic resistant,
and it's swept through New Mexico, southern California,
Arizona, Nevada--
but if that were true more people would be talking about it.
I figure until I get the plague I don't have to worry about it
and after I do... well, I guess I still won't have to worry.